Don't give up on the process

Well this past Saturday was our May meeting and we had a small turnout but had great conversation! Thank you to those who could come and those of you who read the book and just weren’t able to make it. I know that if we had everyone come to the meeting that actually was reading along we probably wouldn’t have enough seats! As we finish up our May selection, I really like how the author shares with us her personal struggle in writing the book during this last chapter. Through many examples the author continues to remind us that our journey is a process. It can be a long, hard process but worth it. I like how the author uses a quote from Claire Cloninger who describes the process in our lives as kaleidoscopes, “I don’t always get to see how the bits and pieces of who I am fit into the big picture of God’s plan. And yet I know I am called, as God’s child, to believe by faith that they do add up. That in some way every single scrap of my life, every step and every struggle, is in the process of being fitted together into God’s huge and perfect pattern for good.” What a neat perspective to think of everything that we do fits into a beautiful kaleidoscope of God's plan. As I finish up the book I have to say that my favorite part here at the end is Henrietta Mears. The author tells us how in spite of Henrietta's busy schedule of helping others she always took the time to open her Bible and spend time with God. When she passed away, some remarked about her that, “It was nothing new to meet her Lord alone, for she has often done so. This time she just went with him.” Oh to have others say that about us when we are gone! How wonderful to live that kind of truth and balance. I’m sure if she were here today she would tell us it is a process that has to be worked at everyday and to not lose hope or heart. The author closes out our book with a message from Paul in 2 Corinthians, “Therefore we do not lose heart,” “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” The author reminds us not to give up on the process because in the end it will all be worth it. Praise God! I hope this book helped you in some way and that you will continue to go back to it and pick up sections to help you when the time is right. So what do you think, Do you think you have a different perspective on Mary and Martha than you did when you first started? I know I do!

Just in case you are interested in further reading, Joanna Weaver has another similar book available called, “Having a Mary spirit.” I have heard lots of great reviews on it as well. I hope you will join me as we start June’s selection, The red tent by Anita Diamant. Happy reading!

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Balance

I think these last chapters make the biggest point at what we need to remember with this book. Balance is a process and always will be. We can achieve balance but the teeter totter is still going to go one way or the other at some point and we just have to be ready with the Holy Spirit living inside us to know what to do. Chapter 11 is about balancing work and worship. The author states that, “As long as my heart is set toward both service and worship; I don’t have to feel guilty when my life seems to settle longer on one side because I know I’ll eventually push off from that spot and spend some time on the other.” I really like the Balance checklist that the author gives us in shaded boxes. If we ever feel one way or the other we can come back to this and see what needs to be done to maybe even ourselves out a little bit. The author shares different techniques that she has learned at achieving balance which we can use as jumping off points if we are having trouble. One big thing I struggle with that she talks about in this chapter is receiving the gift of rest on the Sabbath. We are to relax and not do work. I have to admit that most Sunday’s I do work. I do laundry, I have to run to the grocery store, this and that, and it’s definitely a struggle for me. I really like the story about the African tribe that takes a break of rest to allow their souls to catch up. I need to remember to put aside the “kitchen duties” and spend time in the “living room.” The author goes on to give us some helpful advice on how to be hospitable in the kitchen without overdoing it or tiring ourselves out. But most of all in this chapter, I like the point the author makes with balance. It’s just like on a real teeter-totter where you have to move in towards the middle to make it balance better and not get “bumpsies." We have to move closer to Jesus in order to achieve balance on our teeter-totters of life.


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Nothing held back

As we finish up this book we progress through chapters 9 & 10 and learn two more stories about Mary and Martha. In chapter 9 we look at Martha’s teachable heart and how we all need to have one. If we don’t have a teachable heart, how will we come to know the love of Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to reside in us? As the author talks about having a teachable heart and how Jesus chose those whom were teachable it makes so much sense. Especially eye-opening was the example of the Wall Street Corporation, whom wanted workers fresh out of college ready to train. Of course, Why would you want someone that was “A know and it all” and refused to learn? The author even has a shaded box for us to try to figure out if we have a teachable heart and what maybe we need to do to work on turning ours into one. I enjoyed the author including the story about Martha running out to Jesus from chapter 8 so that we can see the transformation in Martha’s heart that took place. If we want to have a change like Martha did, the author tells us that we must have three things in our relationship with Jesus: be willing to listen, act on what we hear and respond to discipline. I pray that we all can find ourselves with a teachable heart that’s willing to make changes just like the story of the butterfly at the end of Chapter 9.

Chapter 10 shows us the woman that Mary has changed into as well. The author tells us that no longer is she just sitting at His feet but now she is devoted to giving Him all she has. The author gives us some perspective on the story of how Mary poured the perfume on Jesus feet and dried it off with her hair. I had no idea about the significance for Mary to use the expensive perfume. I enjoyed that background because it helped me to understand the story and how Mary really loved Jesus with her whole heart. She was willing to jump out there and give Him all of her no matter what the cost. The author has a shaded box that gives ways for us to make Jesus our Lord if this is something we struggle with. We are not perfect and we want it all and want to do it all, so sometimes we may need a little help in jumping out there. I think this book is a great tool to help. I know for me, coming away from these two chapters I want both, the teachable hart and the extravagant love with nothing held back. As we wrap up the book we will see that all this can be achieved with balance and will always be a work in progress.

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Lessons from Lazarus

Chapter 8 talks about something that most of us struggle with at some time or another…. the waiting game. We have a need and we ask something of God and we devote extensive time to prayer but then, what we want just does not happen. And then it still doesn’t happen or it may not happen the way we believe that it should have happened. And at this point when this happens it is so easy to give up hope and just think that God doesn’t care. But really that’s just what the devil wants you to think. God has a plan, it’s just not possible for us to understand or even conceive His ways and how He can use things to bring Him glory. In this chapter the author talks about the story of Mary and Martha and their brother Lazarus. Lazarus is sick and he is dying and Mary and Martha send word for Jesus to come heal him. But Jesus doesn’t come as fast as they would expect him to, He waits. The bible tells us why he waited to come to Mary and Martha, so that we could see the glory of God. The author gives us 5 lessons that we can learn from the story of Lazarus as well as a couple of God’s grammar rules. The author goes into detail about each of them but I will only highlight a couple things:

1: God’s will does not always proceed in a straight line.
2: God’s love sometimes tarried for our good and His glory.
3: God’s ways are not our ways, but His character is still dependable.
4: God’s plan is released when we believe and obey.
5: The “end” is never the end; it is only the beginning.

Grammar rule #1: Never put a period where God puts a comma.
Grammar rule #2: Don’t put a comma where God puts a period.

I like the quote by Ray C. Stedman as he talks about the hardest problem he deals with as a Christian, “what to do when God does not do what I have been taught to expect him to do; when God gets out of line and does not act the way I think he ought. What do I do about that?” We all have had times when hard questions that we throw at God surface up. We cry out to God and ask him why and we can feel like we never get an answer. I believe that it’s just not time for me to know the answer; it may just be something that my human logic can not follow. I am content in knowing that my whys can be answered when I make it to my real home in Heaven. Even then I probably won’t even know what my questions were. We can look no further than the bible to see that Jesus understands what we are going through. The author has a nice shaded box at the end of this chapter that is titled, “Jesus Understands.” She has compiled a list for us to see that many of the heartache and emotions that we go through Jesus experienced when he was here on earth. He knows, understands and wants to show us the glory of God. A question from the back of the book asks which lessons from Lazarus have you found to be the most true in life? Have you ever experienced the reality of these lessons?

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The spiritual sort

The better part that we need to experience with Jesus is time spent alone with him. In chapter 7 the author talks a lot about finding that quiet time to spend alone with just you and Jesus and what a difference it can make in your life. She gives us several little stories to help support this and I believe them. I like the quote from Hudson Taylor that she gave us that says, “We will all have trials. The question is not when the pressure will come, but where the pressure will lie. Will it come between us and the Lord? Or will is press us ever closer to His breast?” When we make the time to spend with Him we will grow closer rather than farther when those bad times do come. I like the story about the rock experiment and the $3 worth of God. I like what Cynthia Heald says, “We are as intimate with God as we choose to be.” So many of us complain about not being close to God but are we really making an effort?? Really?? Think about it.

I love the story that she gives us from J. Sidlow Baxter and I would love to re-type it all and quote it on here but it’s just a little too long. If you don’t quite remember that part go back and read it. You will find it in chapter 7 under the title “An Act of the Will.” In his little story he and his “will” are deciding that they are going to have a regular devotional time with God because he is not going to settle for the idea that he is, “just not the spiritual sort.” He tells us his thought process between him and his will and how he makes it work. It is very encouraging when you learn that you aren’t the only one that has problems. If you think that you are the only one that is dealing with something, that is the devils work. The devil wants you to think that it’s “only you” so that you think you are beyond help. Don’t believe him! Have a talk with your will like J. Sidlow Baxter does. I know I am going to.

The author gives us the three “C’s” that she uses to help grow in her time with God. Consistency, Creativity and Conversation. She gives us lots of helpful ways to use the three C’s so that we can broaden our horizons with our quiet time. She even gives us one of those nice little shaded boxes that has 10 ways to have Creative quiet times so we can mix it up a little. I really like the reading a chapter idea and getting a notebook or spending half a day in prayer or going to somewhere like a fast food restaurant to have my time. Lots of cool ideas so be sure you don’t miss it. I pray none of us shy away from becoming the spiritual sort.

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Stick out all over

It's not what you do it's how you do it. Chapter 6, Kitchen Service, is about the aspect of it being okay to serve and have some Martha in us. Jesus calls us all to serve and love like he does. J. Oswald Sanders reminds us that "Only once did Jesus say that he was leaving his disciples an example, and that was when he washed their feet." Jesus was becoming the least of these to serve others. He wasn't telling Martha not to serve, he just wants us to just have a joyful heart in whatever way we are serving. When we let our service become a burden it is no longer done in joy. We forget the real reason we began in the first place, which can then place us on the road to burnout. We are told that Jesus ministered to others as he went on his way, out of his way and in all kinds of ways. List all three of these and look for opportunities in your life where you can minister to others. Look in the back of your book where she talks more about this in the study guide. There is a story of Brother Lawrence who ended up with unexpected kitchen duty. Instead of grumbling and throwing a pity party about where he would be serving he made the best of it. He made it into an act of worship. I know this is something that I have also learned as far as the occupation we have is concerned. We aren't all called to ministry or work in the church, if we were how would others in the outside world get to see what it's like to live as a christian? She reminds us that we may be the only Jesus that many people see so we need to keep that in mind at all times. We are given a quote from Dwight L. Moody that I really liked, "Of one hundred men, one will read the Bible; the ninety-nine will read the Christian." Isn't that so true?? The author has some shaded areas in the chapter that discuss some ideas on how to decide how you can serve others as well as to decide if you are doing your service for the right reasons.

So just because you aren't working in the church doesn't mean you aren't making an impact. Jesus needs us to be lights out in this dark world to allow His Holy Spirit to shine through us to others. Whatever your occupation may be do it with the mindset that you are serving God. A friend of ours owns a blinds company. I remember he said that to change his perspective he decided that he was going to treat every house he installed blinds in as if it were Jesus house. What a difference our day can make when we remember to have this kind of attitude!!! In this chapter the author talks some more about producing fruit and abiding in Jesus and letting him abide in us. One last part of this chapter that stood out to me was the story about the boy who is talking to the evangelist and he says, "I'm so little and Jesus is so big-he's just gonna stick out all over!" What a great analogy to show us what having Christ abide in us and us in him really means so that we can show the world who He really is. I pray that I can be someone that has Christ sticking out all over and that you can too.

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The branch must be connected to the tree

In chapter 5 we have lots of analogies. I love a good analogy that puts something in an easy perspective for me to understand. The author tells us a story about a boy who went on a ship to the the new world and about how he starved because he didn’t think he could use his money to eat on the ship only to find out later it was free the whole time. I have heard this story before when people think that they have to wait till their life is good enough to come to a relationship with Christ so they put Him off only to find out later that they could have had the relationship the whole time. The price He paid for us is done and nothing we do can change that. She reminds us that the devil enjoys using our busy schedules our doubts and our fears so that we feel unworthy and don’t become intimate in our relationship with Christ. We have another shaded area that gives us advice on how to create a living room intimacy with God. I have heard of several who have prayer closets but this gives you some other ideas to help you have your quiet time with Him.

In the section titled, “How to live together,” in chapter 5 she tells a story of a branch that falls from the tree but is still trying it’s hardest to produce apples. But the branch doesn’t have the power to produce the apples, only the tree does. The branch must be connected to the tree to produce the fruit. I like this analogy of how Christ is our tree and we His branches that must be connected to Him to bear much fruit. So often we try the “do it ourselves” approach and think we will yield the same results as we did when we were fully attached to Him. It doesn’t always work out and many times we fail. Then since the devil couldn't keep us from thinking we need a savior he tried to make us think that we don’t deserve our savior. He tries his hardest to keep us from revamping that relationship. Don’t feel like you can’t do it. Don’t listen to the devil and let his lies corrupt your walk. She makes mention that we should do a daily housecleaning of our sins and turning them over to God so that it doesn’t build up and we feel overwhelmed. She gives us the formula for intimacy with God, prayer + the word + time. In the back of the book she asks which one of these are you struggling with as you try to build your relationship? Which one comes easiest? She tells us that, “Conscious repentance leads to unconscious holiness.” If we try to do these tasks everyday to build our relationship with him how much easier the bearing of fruit will become?

I want to reflect on one last analogy, from this chapter, where the author quotes Kent Hughes. “Think of it this way, Our lives are like photographic plates, and prayer is like a time exposure to God. As we expose ourselves to God for a half hour, an hour, perhaps two hours a day, his image is imprinted more and more upon us. More and more we absorb the image of his character, his love, his wisdom, his way of dealing with life and people.” Isn’t this what we all need? To be exposed to God in a way that we abide in him and allow Him to abide in us and we become more of a reflection of Jesus than of ourselves?

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Dump your worries and rocks

In chapter 3 we are talking about how worried we can get at times and how some of us carry around so much anxiety over everything. She has a shaded section in this chapter that is titled, “Ten signs of a big worrier.” I don’t struggle with this as much as others I know but I still can at times. I seem to be the one that counteracts their worry and tries to help them not be so worrisome but then you will find me worrying about little insignificant things every once in a while. I don’t think many can escape not worrying abut anything whatsoever. Bless you if you are! I am a firm believer in what Jesus said in Matthew 6:27 and try to remember it daily, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” And to take it further, your parents lives, your friends lives, or your children’s lives?? No one, none of us can add to anything by worrying. She gives us some pretty interesting statistics about what all we do worry about in which 70 % of them are things we can’t even do anything about. Wow that is a lot! We worry about way to much stuff which is completely out of our control. Are you one of those people that she talks about that worry so it won’t happen? I can see how that would be a good mind game to play but I think you would just set yourself up for disappointment because one day your worrying isn’t going to pay off and all the stress will be for naught.


We are also given a handy little chart that distinguishes the difference between actual worry and concern. She states, “Concern draws us to God. Worry pulls us from him.” I think that if you are one of those worrisome people where this is a problem area for you that you should use her chart about Worry vs. Concern and make a list. Write down all the things you find yourself worrying about and see which they fit under. I always think writing something down so you can visualize it helps put something in better perspective. Pray over this list and give it to God. See if you can take off some that are under the worry and genuinely give them to God as a concern and stop stressing yourself out. I think a big misconception among many is that when you become a Christian life gets easier. And she points this out, “Jesus warned us, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). Catch that! He said, “you will,” not “you might.”” Just because you are a Christian does not mean that everything will be fine, it means that you have a hope in a savior to help you get through those tough times. She also reminds us that Jesus also says, “Take Heart, I have overcome the world.” He has overcome the world. Remember the troubles of today will one day all fade away and we will be with our heavenly father. Don’t worry so much. Let some of it go. I love reading those bits of scripture over and over, they really help me let things go.

She gives good advice on how to stop mentally obsessing about issues and turn them into prayer. She gives us one last shaded area in this chapter titled, “Top ten ways to tame your worry habit.” I find these to be helpful with making the list and deciding if something is a worry or a concern and what to do with each item on that list. Please share with us other strategies you may have so that you don’t worry so much. I have seen where people will make their own bookmarks that have the scriptures that talk about not being worrisome so that they look at it constantly. Maybe you could do something similar so that you pray over this throughout the day.

In chapter 4 we come back to the overloaded wagon story. I think this is a very good mental illustration of what it’s like for us to overload our lives. She gives us some advice on how to dump some of our own, “rocks” in a couple of her shaded areas that offer practical advice. She reminds us that we can become overly busy with things that we think God would want us to do but really He may just be looking to spend time with us. As Jesus tells Martha that there is only one thing needed the author gives us an answer as this, “First, to know him and to put worship before work but also not to overdo even in our efforts on his behalf.” I feel like that is me many times over. I try to “do” too much when really I should let a lot of things go and take that time for Him and I. But I am still a steady work-in-progress. She reminds us to ask for wisdom from God before we start dumping our rocks. We need to be sure we are only carrying the load He wants us to have rather than the load we think He wants us to have. Let me know if you have any other tidbits of advice you can share with everyone that help you.

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Lord, Don't you care? Yes.

As we come in to chapter two we battle that question many do of, “Lord Don’t you care?” And the response we give life too often enough, “It’s just not fair.” I really like these little shaded sections in the chapters that have little lists or it takes the message a little further in helping you identify areas where you may just not have realized you need work in yet. Such as in one little box that talks about signs of a Martha overload. It has different sayings that if you hear yourself saying or thinking then you may be on the verge of an overload. I think the two in this list that stick out to me are "I have the capacity to help everyone" and "I am the only person available to help." We always complain about how it is the same people doing the same activities and work again and again and it's easy to get overloaded. We want to help but sometimes we can let ourselves take it a little too far. We start to say, "It's just not fair." Jump with me to chapter 4 where we read about the story of the man with the wagon of stones. Wow! What a way to help us see how easy it is for us to become overloaded, say it's not fair and blame God for our problems. We become overloaded because we try to reach beyond the task God has given us that was never meant to be overloaded nor more burden than we could carry. I think we need to learn to zip our lips when someone asks us to do something and take it home in prayer before giving a response. It's so easy to say sure I'll do that without even really thinking about what it can do to your already busy schedule. I know I am guilty of it.

Back to chapter 2 where we learn the 3 deadly D's: Distraction, Discouragement and Doubt. She tells us a story about a priest who the devil finally reached with these D's. How easy is it for us to get brought down with these? They seem insignificant compared to other tools the devil could use but they can make a big difference in our lives. In a shaded area she gives us some strategies that we can use so that we can fight off discouragement which I find helpful. For some of us the littlest thing can make us discouraged so I hope you find some of these useful. As we conclude chapter 2 we continue with our questioning if the Lord really cares. Of course He does. Sometimes when something bad happens to us, all we can focus on is the bad and forget all about good things He has done for us. I am reminded of a cartoon that I want to share with you. When I first saw it, I was WOWED. It put in a visual perspective for me how much He does care. I couldn't find the pictures any bigger so I put the words in for you in case you can't read them. And I'm not sure who to give the credit to so if you know please tell me. I got this in a forward e-mail a long time ago and I haven't ever forgotten it. If you would like me to send you the e-mail so you can have the full size version just let me know. I hope this gives you some food for thought and helps answer the question that He does indeed care.

"Lord Protect me."

"Why...??!!"

"Are you alright? I might have missed a small piece."

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The two sisters

Here we are beginning our next book, Having a Mary heart in a Martha world and I’m staying busy and not blogging like I should…. Imagine that. This story intrigues me and always has because of the struggle we so often face that the author clearly points out. I am one that wants to be like Mary but has many Martha tendencies. I had heard about this book for awhile now and heard such great things about it that I thought it was high time I stop being so busy and take some time to read it. Well I’m still busy but at least I’m reading it! I like the way in chapter one, the author gives us a more detailed description using her imagination of what Martha and Mary must be going through as Jesus comes to their home. I like how she even describes Martha as “maybe having time to fashion an ark from the cheese and carve the fruit into little animals marching two by two.” Or Martha of the Bible also known as, “the original Martha Stewart.” That makes me laugh because I can picture this. It is so easy to picture it because we do it. Or at least I know I do. I have these grand detailed plans that really don’t make any sense because it doesn’t make a difference in the end. I mean who really remembers that often if the napkins were matching or that the centerpiece was divine? Well some do… I can remember some pretty bad centerpieces. But really??? Now I'm not saying that having those things is wrong, it's fine having your napkins match and all. We just have to remember that it's not what everything is really about. I’m getting better but I’m still a work in progress.

I like how the author points out to us that Jesus did not condemn Martha but gently rebukes her. And he’s not saying that one is wrong and the other right, just one has chosen better. If God didn’t want us all to be different he would have made us all the same. The author reminds us in this chapter that God makes us all unique and with different personalities which help balance each other. I think this whole Mary/Martha struggle is something many of us women at our church are dealing with, the busyness of life. So often we have the same people doing the work over and over again not to mention all the other things that are going on in their lives like marriage, work and children. I am one of these Martha’s that I speak about who finds it hard not to help out, so again I'm a work in progress.

There is a study guide in the back of the book that has some questions you can look over and some other bible passages to look up and meditate over. I wanted to post a couple of the questions that stuck out to me on here for us to ponder. This is in the Appendix “A” Study Guide and you can find the remaining questions there in the back of the book.

- What preconceived ideas did you have about Mary and Martha before reading this? Which do you relate to the most?
- Do you think it is possible for our basic character to change, or are we destined to live our lives stuck in a predetermined nature? Explain your answer.
- What spoke most to you in this chapter?

Here are my answers to these questions: I had the stereotypical preconceived notions about Mary and Martha that I believe most people do at first. The author uses her descriptions to help bring them down to more of a personal level for me and to make it easier to understand what they were probably going through at the time. Also I believe that our character can change through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Yes we all may struggle but if we allow Jesus into our heart He will make a way. This is evidenced throughout the Bible and today in our time with many testimonies of people who have had a changed heart. Now all situations are different but I do believe that change is possible. And what stuck out to me the most so far is my answer to the first question. I enjoy it when an author uses made up details in a story to make the character feel more real. This method makes it easier to connect with stories of the Bible and I am looking forward to reading more and learning how to become more like Mary. The more we dig deeper into the Bible the more I have learned that human nature really hasn't changed very much and the people can be easy to relate to. I hope as you read you will find this to be true for you as well.

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May Book Club Selection

Our May selection for the book club will be, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha world by Joanna Weaver. I have talked to many people that have read this book and they really enjoyed it. I feel like this is something that many of us (me included) probably need a lesson in with today's busy bee world and the book God is calling for us to read next month. Here is what is on the back of the book cover:

The life of a woman today isn’t really all that different from that of Mary and Martha in the New Testament. Like Mary, you long to sit at the Lord’s feet… but the daily demands of a busy world just won’t leave you alone. Like Martha, you love Jesus and really want to serve Him…yet you struggle with weariness, resentment, and feelings of inadequacy. Then comes Jesus, into the midst of your busy life, to extend the same invitation He issued long ago to the two sisters from Bethany. Tenderly, He invites you to choose “the better part” - a joyful life of intimacy with Him that flows naturally into loving service. With her fresh approach to the familiar Bible story, Joanna Weaver shows how all of us – Marys and Marthas alike – can draw closer to our Lord: deepening our devotion, strengthening our service, and doing both with less stress and greater joy.

The book includes a study guide in the back because many churches do bible studies on this book so you have that great resource to dig deeper. If you are interested in a Pre-order please contact Kathy. In the next couple of days she will be e-mailing you with the information for a possible Pre-order. And as always local libraries and bookstores have some copies available. We will no longer be raffling off the book at the meetings but we will still have door prizes. Remember our April meeting is May 2nd and our May meeting will be May 30th. Hope you all enjoy and can't wait to see you again!

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